As we continue our Relationship Goals series this February at Liquid Church, today we're contrasting God's truths against the distortions of our culture when it comes to singleness and dating. There are all sorts of myths about singleness in our culture that can make it feel like a problem to be solved, a waste of your sexuality, or even like you're incomplete unless you have a significant other. These are all lies! The truth is, the Bible shows us that being single is actually a gift given by God.
MYTH #1: SINGLENESS IS A PROBLEM TO BE SOLVED
In Genesis 2:18 God says "It is not good for man to be alone." This means we are wired for relationships - but that doesn't necessarily mean that singleness is a problem to be solved. When our culture wants you to believe you can only have a "happily ever after' if you have a significant other, Scripture busts up that myth by showing us we can have a 'happily ever before'. What we mean here is that you can have a fulfilling and purposeful life before any boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse comes in to the mix. See, before God gave Adam his wife, Eve, God put Adam in his presence. See, God's presence comes before the person. If you're single, you have the opportunity to devote yourself wholeheartedly to God, enjoy the glory of his presence with you, and pursue his mission for the Church. If you desire marriage one day, you can also use this time to look for someone who is content in the presence of God.
MYTH #2: SINGLENESS IS A WASTE OF YOUR SEXUALITY
The next myth to debunk concerns sexuality as a single person. The culture today will tell you that everyone else is out there having fun, and you should be too! However, if you believe the only way to contentment is through physical intimacy, I invite you to take a look at the life of Jesus. The Gospels show us Jesus was a 33 year old virgin who never had sex and never got married - yet he was the most fulfilled and content single person to ever walk the Earth! Instead of listening to the myth that singleness is a waste of your sexuality, take this time and place in your life to develop your identity in Christ. Think about it: In your singleness, have you forgotten who you are? The truth is, the question of who we are has already been answered by God: He calls you one of his own children, redeemed and known fully by Him.
MYTH #3: I'M INCOMPLETE UNTIL I FIND MY SOULMATE
This next myth leads us to a few possible outcomes. If you believe you are incomplete until you find your soulmate, you'll either enter into less than stellar relationships during the search, refuse to let go when a relationship is not the right fit, or you will experience disappointment when you can't find the person of your dreams. The problem here stems from looking at a relationship as two halves forming a whole. In reality, relationships should be the coming together of two wholes to form a bigger union, with Christ at the center of it all.
MYTH #4: I NEED A PARTNER TO HAVE A PURPOSE
The last myth we will debunk has to do with purpose. In the Garden of Eden, Adam had a purpose before Eve became his wife. God called him to tend to the paradise! Not a bad gig. God gave him a purpose before he gave Adam a person, and he does the same for you. Sometimes we want to flip this order, or believe that our purpose is tied to someone else. But, we are not purposeless in our singleness. God has given us work to do - and his purpose doesn't always change for us after marriage.
With all these myths debunked, we hope that whether God calls you to a life of singleness or a season, you are able to see that you are complete in Christ: Right here, right now. Do you need more of his presence? What about a renewed understanding of his purpose? We pray that the Lord would rebuild whatever you may feel is missing in your life as you use your singleness to glorify Him. Check out the additional resources below to keep learning from Liquid Church's Relationship Goals series:
- Message: You Married The Wrong Person. Learn how to make right what the world has gotten wrong about relationships and marriage. Click here to watch.
- Blog Post: Waiting For A Relationship In An On Demand World. College student Alex Soares shares what God has taught him about singleness and dating on his journey so far. Click here to read.