Is there a relationship in your life that needs repair? Over the past few years, we've seen that families are feuding. Friendships have fractured. Where do you even start when it comes to repairing relationships impacted by conflict?
This February at Liquid Church, we're learning Biblical principles for repairing key relationships in our lives. The truth is, we all tend to engage in unhealthy conflict management tactics in the heat of the moment. You know, "C4" is the name of one of the most powerful explosives on the planet - and when it comes to repairing broken relationships, a lot of well-meaning people actually end up using a C4 approach to those relationships when the pressure is on:
HOW TO BLOW UP A RELATIONSHIP
The first step in the C4 approach to relational conflict is to try to convince (C1) the other person. You think if you could just send them an article or a well-worded email, they will understand the logic of your position and you'll convince them of the truth. Then, you hope to convict (C2) them! You'll start praying they see the error of their ways... and eventually they'll feel remorse for how wrong they were. Even better, they'll apologize...
If convincing and convicting do not work, next is coercion (C3). You tell them they can't see their grandkids. You stop visitation rights. This is where it really starts to get ugly. Finally, when all else fails, you try to control (C4). At this point, you hope that if you drop the hammer - tighten the reigns and try to control the other person - that's the way to fix the problem!
Sadly, this C4 approach to relationships does anything but fix them. This is a recipe for blowing up conflict in relationships and making the problems you face in a relationship even worse.
REPAIRING BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS
Do you try to convince, coerce, convict or control when the pressure is on? Instead of fixing the blame, with God's guidance you can choose to change your perspective and learn how to actually fix the problem. In 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 (NLT) the Apostle Paul says this: "All of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation."
This beautiful verse from the New Testament of the Bible reveals to us that God's goal for us is reconciliation. The grand story of the Gospel is of how God reconciled and repaired our broken relationship with Him through His beloved son, Jesus Christ.
FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION
Taking steps towards reconciliation is essential for those who belong to the family of God and call Jesus their Savior. And the thing is, reconciliation is more than forgiveness. Forgiveness is the first step - the runway to reconciliation. If you really think about it, your Heavenly Father was not content to simply forgive you for your sin. Reconciliation is a lot more messy and a lot harder, because the goal is repairing the relationship. That means humbling yourself and giving up control of how the other person may respond.
Understand this: Reconciliation does not mean resolution. Resolution means that you resolve every disagreement, and that's just not going to happen in every relationship. The truth is, there are just some things in your family, friendships or in your business that you're never going to agree on. But as a Christian, you can learn to disagree without being disagreeable. That's when maturity and Christ-likeness begin to develop. That's when we can walk hand-in-hand with others without always seeing eye-to-eye.
So, who do you need to reconcile with? We pray that you'll be encouraged to make the first move towards others when it comes to relationship rehab this February!
To continue learning, check out the below related content and resources from Liquid Church:
- MESSAGE: Cancel Culture - When someone says something offensive, it's easy to get triggered. But Jesus models for us how to live in the tension. Click here to watch or listen.
- ARTICLE: Interview- Empty Nesters On Keeping Love Alive. Mickey and Julissa Rodriguez share how they stay connected through the different seasons of their marriage. Click here to read on.